You are about to add a new sibling to your growing family. It doesn’t matter how many kids you already have, the new arrival will shake things up. Consider these tips to help make the changes a positive experience for everyone.
1. Timing is important. Choosing when to tell other family members about a pregnancy depends a great deal on each person’s age. Your two year old will not understand what you are saying if you don’t look pregnant. Nine months is almost half his lifetime and way too long to be told he is going to have a new sibling. Wait until you are about five months along. At that point he can see where the baby is, and it gives him enough time to digest the news.
2. Include your children in your pregnancy whenever possible. If they can feel the baby kick, let them try. That experience will help them realize that a real baby is growing in your belly. Let them help you set up the nursery and buy things for their new sibling. Ask for suggestions from your kids regarding things in the nursery or baby names. The key is to let them feel part of the process.
3. Be sure your older children feel special. Spend quality time with each one of your kids before the baby comes, and let each one know how important he is. Remind him that as a big brother, he can help with the baby, who will have a lot to learn from him. Tell him you can’t wait to see what a great, loving big brother he is.
4. When it’s time to hand things down from an older sibling to the new baby, be sure to ask the older child’s permission. Let’s start with his crib. Talk to your toddler about how excited you are that he is now old enough to leave the crib for a new big boy bed. Encourage him to take ownership of his new bed, by helping you choose sheets, pillows and blankets. He should be out of the crib at least a full month before the baby arrives. By then, when he’s used to his new bed, you can ask him if the new baby can now sleep in his old crib. It’s important that you make him feel important and special to be sharing his bed with his new sibling.
5. Remember to find time for your other kids after the baby is born. Naturally, the focus will be on the new arrival, but it’s important to remind your older children that they are important to you and you appreciate their help during this busy time. Many times, company will visit with gifts for the new baby, and often for the siblings, too. If they forget the other kids, it’s a good idea to have a stash of small things that you can bring out for them to remind them that they are special. Wait until the company leaves, and then offer the kids a coloring book, puzzle or something similar as a thank you for being so understanding. When the baby sleeps, try to spend some quality time with the other kids.
6. Encourage the children to appreciate each other. As your family grows, it is even more important that your kids get along with one another, and truly love each other. Sure, there will always be sibling rivalry, but try to find ways to build their relationship as opposed to making them feel like they need to compete for your time and attention.
Congratulations on your new bundle of joy! It’s only natural that when the new baby is born, you will be tired and your house will be chaotic. Preparation will make the transition smoother for everyone.
Learn more about preschool development at http://www.preschoolteach.blogspot.com, by preschool teacher and writer Terri Akman.