Guess who’s coming to dinner? Family meetings now include you and your children but with Mom or Dad sitting in too. The number of households where Mom or Dad has moved in with their adult children is climbing. Elder care issues are part of your daily considerations. You are constantly in the middle. Welcome to the sandwich generation.
At the last Parent-Teacher meeting at our elementary school there were six grandparents present. The adjustments can be tough for every member of the family. Parents have done a lot of sharing after the school meetings and it has seeded a small support group. We all face common logistic and relationship challenges.
Our group supports the local senior center. We organized an evening of entertainment with light supper and a silent auction. With the support of local businesses we had quite a collection of items ready for bids.
One major box store made a donation of hdtv plasma tvs to use for a cash raffle prize. They gave a kitchenaid food processor to the cooking staff and threw in a delonghi space heater for the basement storage room. We openly discussed shared concerns about having a grandparent in the house full time.
We all agreed that grandparents and teens disagree about who makes a good role model. Elders are capable of making some biting comments about how young people dress, what they eat, and who they have for friends. There is a vast difference between holiday visits to grandma’s house and sharing a bathroom all year round.
Medical appointments, picking up prescriptions, administering medication, special diets, and other considerations have to be met. Many talked about the clash between ‘generation text’ and their grandparents. Conflict seems to be inevitable. Just as there are more than one problem with sandwich families, there is more than one solution.
We are continuing are efforts to support hot meals at the center. This winter we are adding home delivered meals for shut-in seniors. The food is all being prepared in the kitchen at the center. Volunteers transport the meals in their personal vehicles.
Our little group is finding ways to support each other. We have instituted ‘adult play dates’ and it really takes the pressure off for a few hours each week. There have been some terrific side effects. We are modeling volunteerism to our children. I have learned to play a game called cribbage. My wife has finally gotten her hands on my mother’s secret apple pie crust recipe. Now that’s a win-win.